Category Archive:
Constructive discipline

FREE WEBINAR: Helping Children Learn To Listen

Helping children learn to listen

In my many years of working with young children, there is one question I hear frequently from parents and teachers: How do I get children to listen to me? When we are confronted with tantrums, defiant behavior, or worse, it’s difficult to know what to do. But these situations are usually avoidable, or at least […]


Helping Children Deal With Their Feelings

helping children deal with their feelings

“I was a wonderful parent before I had children. I was an expert on why everyone else was having problems with theirs. Then I had three of my own.” So begins the book, How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk, by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. Faber and Mazlish […]


Every Day A Little Play

everyday a little play

Tempers were short. Especially mine. The girls had been sick and cranky. It had rained for several days. We were moving to a new town. My husband had been gone for 10 days. Real estate showings interrupted nap and dinner times. There were boxes to pack. Everything seemed so serious. A friend from our Active […]


The What If Game

the what if game

When we observe that a child is having difficulties exhibiting appropriate behavior, the What If Game gives us a way to begin teaching thinking skills and different possibilities. For example: If we see a child who is pushing children out of the swings at outdoor time, we can gather a small group, (or you can […]


To Foster Cooperation, Give Choices

Most of the conflicts we have with our preschool-age children involve getting them to do something they don’t want to do in a reasonable amount of time. Eating, getting dressed, going to bed or taking a bath may be familiar conflict areas. In parenting class, I was introduced to the idea of giving choices to […]


Chores Make Children Feel Important

chores are important

Chores make children feel important. Family is about giving us a sense of belonging. Whatever ups and downs we have in life-changes in jobs, money or health-family is where we know we can always go, and the door will be open. Strong families create powerful ties to their family and to each other through sharing […]


We Have Two Seconds To Change Behavior

two seconds to change behavior

“Look, mommy! I’m daddy!” Three-year-old Scotty opened a blue marker and scribbled on the wall as his mom, Margie, cut vegetables for dinner. Scotty had watched his dad paint the kitchen over the weekend. Now Scotty was trying to help, or so Margie surmised in the split second of disbelief and dismay as she took […]


How Do We Want To Be?

How do we want to be

Each of us has a picture in our minds of how we want our personal world to be. This vision of our perfect planet contains the people most important to us, along with favorite activities, feelings, foods, decorations, surroundings and more. Conflict arises when our vision of perfect collides with someone else’s version of perfect. […]


Asking Permission

asking permission

For many of us it is easier to beg forgiveness than to ask permission. If you really want to do something, why risk being told ”no”? Why endure the hassle of trying to sell your point? Why listen to pessimists who say that what you want to do can’t be done? Why take the time […]


Stuck With a Problem? SOAR

stuck with a problem soar

At times we seem to be ensconced in recalcitrant situations. We try to move forward, and our strategy doesn’t work. We resolve to get our two-year-old to stop biting. Our ten-year old forgets to clean his room–every Saturday. Our fourteen-year-old refuses to go to church. Whatever we do to encourage or cajole our children into […]