Temperance, one of the universal virtues, is comprised of personal strengths that protect against excess. Studies by positive psychologists indicate that strengths in forgiveness and mercy, humility and modesty, prudence, and self-regulation help us temper our thoughts and actions.
Mohandas Gandhi lived a life of temperance. Gandhi gave us the example of how temperance is a way to change the world. The study of his life can show us ways to strengthen our own character to avoid the excesses that would create a life of unhappiness.
Being able to show forgiveness and mercy to others when you have been dealt with badly, shows strength of character.
It takes a strong person to forgive a misdeed and not fall into the trap of revenge. It takes strength to accept the shortcomings of others. It takes confidence of your strength to give people a second chance when they have fallen short of expectations. As Gandhi said about seeking revenge, “An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.”
Letting one’s accomplishments speak for themselves, seeking the worth of every person, and being able to see each person’s uniqueness in the grand scheme are the attributes of humility and modesty.
To be humble and modest in today’s jargon seem to mean being easily imposed on or submissive. True humility and modesty are terms used for servant leadership. In effective leadership, you lead by showing patience, and gentility in helping others, even though you may be better educated, or more wealthy than those around you. Humility and modesty show a character strength that is at the core of leaders.
Being attentive to possible hazards or risks and planning for the future are the fruits of being prudent.
The word prudence comes from the word providence, meaning to plan ahead or having foresight. Today calling someone a prude is a derogatory term instead of referring to a woman of strength and foresight. The strength of having prudence is that one is careful about one’s choices, doesn’t take unnecessary risks, and avoids saying or doing things that might cause hardship to oneself or others later.
Exhibiting control over one’s emotions, thoughts and actions is another distinguishing characteristic of temperance.
Learning to control one’s moods and appetites becomes inner strength. Being able to make yourself do something you might not want to do, while knowing that in the end it is the best course of action, is the hallmark of inner or self-discipline. Being able to self-regulate gives us the ability to meet our goals and objectives in life.
Gandhi told us, “You must be the change you seek in the world.”
If we want to help our children to have character strengths to live in a world where life is not lived an eye for an eye, we must model the self-control, the foresight, the servant leadership and the forgiveness we seek in the world.
Thank you for this post. So much of parenting seems focused on milestones. What this article suggests is so much more important: creating positive character traits by modeling them to our children. Temperance and prudence are never discussed but essentially the foundation of our relationships w ourselves and others.
Leah,
Self-regulation may be the key to a life that moves forward.
What is important for our children to learn?
Temperance makes it on the top five of my list.
Insightful words, Maren. A children’s book I adore for exploring this with my kids is Grandfather Gandhi by Arun Gandhi and Bethany Hegedus. http://www.grandfathergandhi.com/book/
Sveta,
Thank you for sharing about the book.
This is a lesson we should all follow! What a beautiful post, Maren!
Thanks, Debora.
Good to hear from you!
Prudence and temperance. Words one does not often hear and seemingly being relagated to obscurity. Thanks for pulling them out and dusting them off Maren.
Heather,
My pleasure!