Category Archive:
Constructive discipline

Independence

independence

We are raising adults, not children. Our job as parents (and parent support systems) is to guide our children to complete independence. Little by little, day by day, we help our children develop skills and take on more responsibility until they can run at full speed on their own two feet. Unfortunately, it is often […]


Four Keys to Raising a Self-Disciplined Child

four keys to raising a self disciplined child

Do you dream of having a child who is self-composed, articulate and respectful of others, young or old? In our children’s pre-verbal days it seems like those attributes may be impossible, but there are some teaching tools you can use to help your child have the self-discipline to live a peaceful life as a toddler […]


Teaching Forgiveness

teaching forgiveness

“Forgive and forget” is a phrase that is given as advice. As a child, I remember being upset over a transgression and yelling, “I don’t want to forgive her, and I won’t forget it!” Forgive and forget seemed to mean that I should pardon the misdeed and pretend it never happened. That, in my mind, […]


Accentuate The Positive

accentuate the positive

“If I tell Ginny not to do something, she just looks me in the eye, and does it.  She seems defiant.” Sam, Ginny’s dad, told me at a company picnic. Ginny, an almost four-year-old curly headed brunette, ran over from the swings at the park.  “Ginny, how about playing a little game with me?  I’m […]


Empowering Children To Collaborate

Empowering Children to collaborate

“Stop!” I heard six-year-old Alan tell a couple of three-year-old girls.  “I think you’ve got a problem.” Lila and Susan, the three-year-olds, were tugging and grunting to see who would get possession of a puzzle.  Alan continued, “I think you both want to do this puzzle by yourself.  Do you want to work this out? […]


Misbehavior Meets Needs

misbehavior meets needs

Misbehavior. That’s when you don’t act the way I want you to when I want you to. But what about when I do what I want when I want to do it? Some might call it personal prerogative. Others might say it’s a double standard. One of the interesting aspects of human behavior is that […]


Paying Attention to the Right Stuff

paying attention to the right stuff

In my elementary and junior high school years I always sat in the back row. Except in my seventh-grade English class. I wondered why I inevitably sat in the back against the wall. Alphabetical order, I presumed. The back-row perspective allowed me to observe everyone in my classrooms, and even as a second grader I […]


Giving Positive Directions: The Verb Game

giving positive directions

A funny thing about the mind; it takes a while for our minds to figure out how to ”don’t.” ”Don’t hit your baby brother.” The young child doesn’t have the thinking skills or experience to consider what to do instead of hitting his baby brother, much less redirect the energy and anger to a positive […]


Make a Date

make a date

My husband and I share the distinction of being the oldest of five children. Growing up, there was always one of the children a little out of sorts. Luckily, with four other siblings there always was someone to distract the grumpy family member until the clouds parted. After our second and youngest daughter, Hannah, was […]


The High Cost of Low Trust

high cost of low trust

”My parents don’t trust me anymore,” said thirteen-year-old Steve. ”Oh,” I said, but thought to myself, RED ALERT. This wasn’t going to be a regular sit-at-the-table-and-eat-pizza party conversation. My memory neurons buzzed, trying to find the listening/questioning tool I had recently learned called evidence and impact questioning. The gist of this two-step listening technique is […]