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”For whatever reasons my eight-year-old, Eric, is critical of everything his younger siblings do. Eric tells his sister that her coloring stinks. He tells his brother that his handwriting is messy. Last night Eric burst into tears because the peas touched his mashed potatoes. Nothing seems to make him happy right now,” Michael told me. […]
Fear is a powerful motivator and behavior modifier. Fear, though, does not promote growth. Fear doesn’t promote kindness, caring or compassion in ourselves. Fear doesn’t open our hearts to new experiences. Fear doesn’t connect us to other people. What is the opposite of fear? Love. The opposite of love is not hate, but fear. Hate […]
“Lisa is so different from Grace. Grace never broke anything when she was this age. Lisa breaks something every day,” Meg told me at our playgroup with our one-year olds. Meg, a long-time friend, was over 30 when she had her first child. Five-year-old Grace lived up to her name. Grace was gentle and content […]
Some women get rocks set into precious metals for anniversaries, birthdays or Christmas. I get books. Over thirty years ago, my husband presented me with a jewel of a book for Christmas. I’ve used this gift to teach thinking skills to children and adults. The title? Six Thinking Hats by Edward De Bono. De Bono, […]
One of the formative experiences of my early twenties was taking the Dale Carnegie Course in Public Speaking and Human Relations. Each class we focused on a tenet of Carnegie’s philosophy, one of which is to give sincere, honest appreciation. But giving honest and sincere appreciation can be a difficult skill to master. Some compliments […]
Erle Stanley Gardner. Agatha Christie. Dick Francis. I’ve always loved reading mysteries and I’ve read so many that I can usually guess ”who dunnit.” In my late teens I took a writing seminar with a mystery writer. My first question to her was “Do you know the ending when you start writing?” She laughed and […]
Labels. We all are labeled by the roles we play or how others perceive us. On the day we are born, the labeling begins. “He looks just like his daddy. She’s an angel. He’s a handful. She’s fussy. He’s scatterbrained. She has no patience. He’s greedy.” Names and adjectives are used to describe children and […]
“Pretend that you just found out that you’ll have to be in a wheelchair for a year, possibly longer. What adjustment would you have to make to your home to accommodate this change? This week crawl around your house, through every room, and make a list of changes that you would make. That’s your homework. […]
Amanda, a preschool teacher in California, contacted me about a column about bullying. “I do agree”, she wrote, “that bullying is a very serious issue but the people that usually need more support are the mortified parents of the bully.” Let’s define bullying behavior. Bullying can be physical, verbal or excluding behaviors that include but […]
Happy. We use this word as though happy is a goal unto itself. An elusive objective, indeed. The meanings of happiness and pleasure are used interchangeably in our world. Happiness and pleasure are not the same concept and to think so is dangerous. Pleasure seeking will not bring us happiness. Conversely, happiness is rarely found […]
