Category Archive:
Social/emotional needs

Words Can Hurt, Too

Words can hurt too

Name-calling seems to be a juvenile behavior that unfortunately can continue until adulthood. Research shows that name-calling negatively affects our perception of the victim of name-calling. Doesn’t that appear to be valid? Once we hear something negative about a person, true or untrue, we tend to remember that assertion, even though we may know the […]

My Amygdala Made Me Do It!

My Amygdala Made Me Do It

Learning to control impulses is an important task for our children, and all of us, to learn. Until our children learn to control urges to hit, kick, punch, pinch, bite, spit, name call and more, we’ll see all those behaviors emerge when life becomes overwhelming. How is self-control established? Let’s look at the young child’s […]

Dealing With Meltdowns

Dealing With Meltdowns

Rage is one of the core emotional systems that kicks in when we feel like we are being physically or mentally restrained. Frustration is part of our core emotional system, as is anger. We have the ability to rage from birth as it acts as a type of energizer to get us to safety. Hold […]

Understanding Core Emotions

understanding core emotions

In her book, Animals Make Us Human, Temple Grandin asks the question: What does an animal need to be happy? Grandin lists five freedoms animals should have when in an intensive animal production situation: Freedom from hunger and thirst Freedom from discomfort Freedom from pain, injury or disease Freedom to express normal behavior Freedom from fear […]

Do What You Say And Say What You Do

do what you say

“Throw rocks into the pool one more time and we’re leaving the party,” Jonathan’s parents told him. It was a surprise party for his grandparents’ anniversary. When Jonathan threw in the next handful of pebbles, nothing happened. Empty threats. It is an easy trap to fall into. We think if we mention the possible consequences […]

Bottling The Whine

bottling the whine

Nothing can wear you down as quickly as a whining child. You may think you are patient, kind-hearted, understanding and virtuous beyond vocabulary. Five minutes with a whining child can make all those golden qualities evaporate. And let us not forget whiny adults. Whining isn’t just a youngster’s activity. Whining works. Which is why it […]

Create A Place To Thrive

create a place to thrive

Funny how certain conversations stick with you. When I was 16-years-old I was visiting with a college professor whose children I babysat. He asked me about my college plans and the classes I was currently taking. I told him I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. “Ah,” he said, “you […]

Something Worth Growing

something worth growing

A few years ago I read in a book a description of a young man who finally saw himself as “a gift worth wrapping.” This young man’s life had been full of heartbreak and loss, with not much positive feedback about his strengths. His weaknesses, and there were many, were harped on by his guardians, […]

Baby Steps

baby steps

One of my go-to comedies, a movie that never fails to make me laugh and always helps me have an attitude adjustment, is What About Bob? with Bill Murray and Richard Dreyfuss. The book, Baby Steps, figures prominently in the plot. Baby Steps outlines Dr. Leo Marvin’s (Dreyfuss) therapy to help his clients overcome their […]

Your Presence Is Your Present

your presence is your present

Do you ever worry about getting the “right” gift for the special people in your life? Let’s take a few minutes and make sure we are giving the gifts that can only come from the heart. The Present of Listening. How do we really listen? We turn off our cell phones, the television and the […]