Misbehavior Meets Needs

misbehavior meets needs

Misbehavior. That’s when you don’t act the way I want you to when I want you to. But what about when I do what I want when I want to do it? Some might call it personal prerogative. Others might say it’s a double standard. One of the interesting aspects of human behavior is that […]


Paying Attention to the Right Stuff

paying attention to the right stuff

In my elementary and junior high school years I always sat in the back row. Except in my seventh-grade English class. I wondered why I inevitably sat in the back against the wall. Alphabetical order, I presumed. The back-row perspective allowed me to observe everyone in my classrooms, and even as a second grader I […]


Giving Positive Directions: The Verb Game

giving positive directions

A funny thing about the mind; it takes a while for our minds to figure out how to ”don’t.” ”Don’t hit your baby brother.” The young child doesn’t have the thinking skills or experience to consider what to do instead of hitting his baby brother, much less redirect the energy and anger to a positive […]


Ask Children For What You Want

ask children for what you want

The bestselling book The Secret talks about the problem of not having a clear vision of what we want. We spend the majority of our time avoiding or getting rid of stuff in our lives that we don’t want. Wherever we place our focus, that is what grows. The more we direct our attention on […]


Effective Skill Building

effective skill building

Research shows that learning new skills in the most efficient manner requires self-discipline and practice. That seems like common sense to most of us. Science is confirming that, yes, to get better you’ve got to make yourself sit at the piano and play those tunes and do those finger exercises. Every day. Effective learning or […]


A Thank-You Walk

thank you walk

”I’m worried that my four- and six-year-old will be spoiled. They have such a great life–plenty of love, food, toys and money. I want them to be thankful for what they have,” Melinda said. Melinda understood that helping her children cultivate an attitude of gratitude was important to her children’s present and future happiness. Too […]


Why Don’t We Listen Better?

Helping children learn to listen

The hostess at the dinner party asked me question after question, keeping me actively engaged in conversation. The next day I realized I had done most of the talking. But I thought my new friend was the most fascinating person in the world. Why? Because she listened to me. Learning to listen with interest to […]


Children Love Quiet

children love quiet

Somehow between Madison Avenue and Hollywood, and all the places where kiddie culture is fed, we’re given the view that children are rowdy and eternally needing to be entertained. Picture a scene of children getting out from school. What do you imagine? More than likely it’s children shouting and running from the school building. Though […]


Noise Surrounds Us

noise surrounds us

Blaise Pascal, the 17th century philosopher and mathematician, wrote, ”All man’s miseries derive from not being able to sit quietly in a room alone.” Almost 300 years later and human misery still stems from not being able to listen to oneself think. An edition of Ode magazine was dedicated to the topic of silence. Several […]


Brains Need Plenty Of Quiet Time

brains need plenty of quiet time

A sign in my father’s office read, ”Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits.” Ungrammatical, but it captured the essence of my father. My dad spent a lot of time thinking and planning, but he didn’t hesitate to take the down time of ”just” sitting and doing nothing. Dad understood what was […]