Category Archive:
Effective communication

Help! My Child Is Biting!

help my child is biting

There is something repulsive about biting. Perhaps the thought of being bitten threatens our position on the food chain. Needless to say, parents get upset about children biting, whether their child is bitten or is the biter. It goes without saying that the child being bitten isn’t happy. But, the biter isn’t happy either. Biting […]


Lighten Up

lighten up

Thank goodness for my mother-in-law. Her sense of humor has always been helpful. Years ago, my in-laws came to stay with the girls, then four and five, for a few days while my husband and I headed off on a company sponsored trip. This five-day trip was the first time we had been away more […]


Dealing With Bullying

dealing with bullying

“Do you have any suggestions for me to share with a parent on how to help her child deal with a bully in school?” asked Mary, a grandmother and teacher. Bullying seems to be getting a lot of media time recently. Many schools and other organizations are creating programs to try to combat these mean-spirited […]


The Rule Of 150

rule of 150

The Rule of 150 states that the size of an effective social network is limited to 150 members. Social scientists theorize that 150 is the limit of the human ability to remember and respond to all the members in a group. The human mind seems unable to maintain a large number of distinct relationships. As […]


Five Dangerous Behaviors

five dangerous behaviors

You must be the change you wish to see in the world. Mahatma Mohandas Gandhi We have all experienced the person. The person with the negative attitude whose dark cloud metastasizes throughout a relationship, family, business or community, bringing discord, disorder and disaster. In order to maintain harmonious relationships, Stephen Covey in The 8th Habit […]


The Power Of Family Stories

the power of family stories

Every family, every college, every corporation, every institution needs tribal storytellers. The penalty for failing to listen is to lose one’s history, one’s historical context, one’s binding values. Max De Pree, Leadership Is An Art  On Christmas Eve, the cousins chose to watch The Sound of Music. This surprised me, as the cousins’ ages range […]


See It In Your Child Video: Meeting The Goal Of Protection

Meeting The Goal Of Protection

In previous sessions we talked about the child’s need to belong, and how a child’s behavior is directed towards getting this emotional connection of belonging. We’ve talked about how a child’s behavior is driven by four unconscious goals: contact, power, protection and withdrawal. Let’s look now at how we can help our children in meeting […]


Help with Stuttering

children seek to create a flow of activity

“Kate has started to stutter. What should I do? How can I help her?” Doug, father to three-year-old Kate, asked. As we develop spoken language, stuttering is a symptom of expressive skills lagging behind receptive language skills. If we think about receptive language being our reservoir of words and understanding, and expressive language as the […]


See It In Your Child Video: Meeting The Goal Of Power

meeting the goal of power

How can we help our children enlarge their circle of power? In this video and accompanying article I’ll discuss three vital steps that help us as parents and teacher.  When we use these three steps we’ll find that our children’s unconscious goal of power is met in a way that meets our children need to […]


Some Alternatives to Saying “No”

alternatives to saying no

There are some days in February that seem as if all we do as parents is say “no”. “No, Susan can’t spend the night. Your brother has the flu.” “No, you cannot go bike riding right now. It’s dark.” “No, we can’t go to the mall. It’s supposed to start snowing soon.” Bad weather, illnesses, […]