A critical aspect of effective communication is learning how to express our needs. In our efforts to communicate effectively with others, we need to learn how to observe behavior, without evaluating, to figure out an individual’s needs. For effective communication, we need to differentiate between feelings and thoughts. We need to be aware of how […]
Category Archive:
Great parenting tips
Learning To Express Needs
Be careful for what you ask for–you might get it. To communicate to the heart of our relationships, it is important that we learn to state our needs with clarity and positiveness. Negative requests can confuse the listener and provoke resistance. When we make a request in the negative–I don’t want chocolate ice cream–the request […]
Owning Our Emotions
Victor Frankl in Man’s Search for Meaning writes about our freedom residing in the space between stimulus and response. Your child hits you. Your freedom lies in the space of time between being hit, the stimulus, and your response to being hit. That moment contains your power to choose how you receive the message and […]
Communicating Emotions
A long-term study of college students, The Grant Study, tested their vocabularies while also asking the group to rate their level of happiness. For over fifty years the test subjects with the largest vocabularies declared the greatest satisfaction with their lives. For many of us the vocabulary to express emotions is limited to a few […]
Stopping Biting
Most biting in young children occurs between the ages of fourteen to thirty-six months. At this age biting is more connected to oral and language development. Biting in the four-year-old may be about developmental delays in impulse control, social skills or meeting situational expectations. The younger child learning to speak as well as to control […]
Using Love Pats
“If I don’t spank, what am I supposed to do?” asked Teri, mother to ten-month-old Mary. Teri, as a parent of a now walking and curious toddler, had reached into her parenting bag and found that spanking was her only tool for redirecting behavior. “What do you want to teach?” I said. “Well, I guess […]
Help! My Child Is Hitting Me!
Four-year-old Jason hit his mother, Rebecca, with his fists and kicked her ankles. Rebecca ignored Jason’s blows and continued listening to her friend at the coffee shop. Why was Rebecca allowing her child to abuse her? When visiting with Rebecca she told me that that the parenting tools she had to deal with Jason’s hitting […]
Avoiding Power Struggles
“You can’t make me!” yells our darling child. Instantly our breathing quickens, our heart rate elevates, our blood pressure rises and a throb starts at the temples. At times we feel like we “have to” make our children do some things against their will. Brush their teeth. Take a bath. Get dressed. Take their medicine. […]
Step By Step For A Clean Room
“I can’t get Zoey to clean her room,” said Joan, mother to three-year-old Zoey. Clean your room is an abstract idea and most three-year-olds don’t have the experience, memory or skills to clean their rooms all by themselves. Three-year-olds have attained a certain level of independence; they can walk, talk, express their opinions and are […]
Surviving Brotherly and Sisterly Struggles
Siblings between the ages of 3 and 7 years old engage in some kind of conflict on average 3.5 times an hour according to Laurie Kramer, professor of applied family studies at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. That’s one squabble about every 17 minutes! For the 2 to 4 year age group the average […]