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We all need to feel like we belong. And the most important place we need to feel like we belong is in our families. It is from our family relationships that we build relationships within our schools, our churches, our neighborhoods and our communities…and beyond. According to Rudolph Dreikurs and Alfred Adler our children are […]
In building healthy relationships it is important that our words and our actions match positively. Where we can get into trouble is making promises. Once we make a promise, we have put our integrity on the line. Circumstances may change that make our commitment untenable, but to our children a bond of trust has been […]
How are you going to find a way to use words to solve problems? Use the five-step problem solving method. In last week’s post we laid some ground rules for our family: that we will work together, as we are all in the same boat; and that we do not act or speak in a […]
“But Daaaad-deee he started it!” Sometimes we really do need the wisdom of King Solomon! It is difficult for us to know who actually started it. During the heat of the moment, though, it is perhaps best if we don’t try to resolve the dispute ourselves by telling one child what to do. We may […]
Isolating children when they don’t meet our expectations of behavior is one method of implementing time-out. Using time-out may be one of the most popular discipline methods used by parents today. Carl Larsson, the Swedish artist, did a painting in 1897 of an older boy sitting in time-out. The time-out technique has been around for […]
“Good judgment comes from experience and experience comes from bad judgment,” read the sign in the gift shop. Since mistakes are at the forefront of learning, it is best if we can be friendly with error and welcome mistakes for the learning opportunities that they are. What have most of us been taught about mistakes? […]
At a neighborhood coffee, my friend, Cheryl, announced that she had stopped eating sugar for several months. Several women gasped at the thought. “But that’s so limiting,” said one. Cheryl smiled and said, “Actually I find the limitation is quite freeing. I don’t worry any more whether I should eat something or not. Drawing the […]
Many of the difficult situations we have with our children involves getting them to do something they don’t want to do in a reasonable amount of time. Eating, getting dressed, going to bed, or taking a bath may be familiar conflict areas. When we give our children choices we can avoid conflict. These choices, or […]
As parent leaders, we have many tools we can learn to help us create an atmosphere of trust in our families. One tool is using family meetings. Family meetings can help our families learn how to problem solve together, as well as learn important communication tools, cooperation, creativity, respect, appropriate expression of emotions, and how […]
Most of our fears as parents about protecting our children involve situations that rarely occur. But many of us tend to spend a disproportionate amount of time worrying about circumstances that will never happen, or planning for perfectionism, either in ourselves or in our children. Our fears and our guilt hold us hostage in a […]
