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Many of the difficult situations we have with our children involves getting them to do something they don’t want to do in a reasonable amount of time. Eating, getting dressed, going to bed, or taking a bath may be familiar conflict areas. When we give our children choices we can avoid conflict. These choices, or […]
Most of our fears as parents about protecting our children involve situations that rarely occur. But many of us tend to spend a disproportionate amount of time worrying about circumstances that will never happen, or planning for perfectionism, either in ourselves or in our children. Our fears and our guilt hold us hostage in a […]
“Last night Dustin asked me what rules we had at home. I’m embarrassed to say that I didn’t have a ready answer. Dustin told me, ‘At school we have these rules, Mommy. Choose your work. Don’t touch anybody’s work. Work at a rug or table. And put your work away when you’re finished.’ See, even […]
The day that your child turns red then blue while writhing on the floor in an attempt to get his or her way, is a day when you earn perhaps your first parenting medal, “valor under stress.” Joan, a mother of two, related to me her ordeal of a temper tantrum with three-year-old, Robbie. “It […]
In our busy day-to-day lives, as we try to do everything–jobs, children, home, marriage–stopping to think what everyone in our family needs may not be a high priority. When we’re caring for small children, there never seems to be enough time, enough money, enough sleep, or enough hours in the day. It’s difficult to find […]
Ever have those frazzled times with the kids? And spouse? Where everyone seems irritable? Where each family member appears to be a nemesis to each other’s happiness? Ever have a day, a week or more when nuthin’ went right for nobody? Sometimes when our family is in a tizzy and a funk, a solution seems […]
”For whatever reasons my eight-year-old, Eric, is critical of everything his younger siblings do. Eric tells his sister that her coloring stinks. He tells his brother that his handwriting is messy. Last night Eric burst into tears because the peas touched his mashed potatoes. Nothing seems to make him happy right now,” Michael told me. […]
“Stop!” I heard six-year-old Alan tell a couple of three-year-old girls. “I think you’ve got a problem.” Lila and Susan, the three-year-olds, were tugging and grunting to see who would get possession of a puzzle. Alan continued, “I think you both want to do this puzzle by yourself. Do you want to work this out?” […]
At a recent seminar, our speaker presented the idea that there are four basic strategies to deal with any problem: Ignore, Resolve, Manage and Prevent. At first, the list appeared overly simplistic. Could ignoring a problem be an effective strategy? After some reflection, I recognized that ignoring a problem is a powerful strategy. Not every […]
Choices. Everyday we make choices. It is from making choices that we learn responsibility and how to behave. When we choose unwisely and experience the consequences of our choices, the lessons we learn are more powerful than any lecture or punishment. If we as parents are savvy, we can use natural and logical consequences as […]
