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”For whatever reasons my eight-year-old, Eric, is critical of everything his younger siblings do. Eric tells his sister that her coloring stinks. He tells his brother that his handwriting is messy. Last night Eric burst into tears because the peas touched his mashed potatoes. Nothing seems to make him happy right now,” Michael told me. […]
Fear is a powerful motivator and behavior modifier. Fear, though, does not promote growth. Fear doesn’t promote kindness, caring or compassion in ourselves. Fear doesn’t open our hearts to new experiences. Fear doesn’t connect us to other people. What is the opposite of fear? Love. The opposite of love is not hate, but fear. Hate […]
Some women get rocks set into precious metals for anniversaries, birthdays or Christmas. I get books. Over thirty years ago, my husband presented me with a jewel of a book for Christmas. I’ve used this gift to teach thinking skills to children and adults. The title? Six Thinking Hats by Edward De Bono. De Bono, […]
One of the formative experiences of my early twenties was taking the Dale Carnegie Course in Public Speaking and Human Relations. Each class we focused on a tenet of Carnegie’s philosophy, one of which is to give sincere, honest appreciation. But giving honest and sincere appreciation can be a difficult skill to master. Some compliments […]
Injury occurs one of two ways: accidentally or intentionally. We need to help our children be prepared to deal with the inevitable in their lives. Accidents do happen and we need to show them the way to make amends when things have gone wrong. We need to teach these skills, though, beforehand, versus after the […]
Labels. We all are labeled by the roles we play or how others perceive us. On the day we are born, the labeling begins. “He looks just like his daddy. She’s an angel. He’s a handful. She’s fussy. He’s scatterbrained. She has no patience. He’s greedy.” Names and adjectives are used to describe children and […]
Happy. We use this word as though happy is a goal unto itself. An elusive objective, indeed. The meanings of happiness and pleasure are used interchangeably in our world. Happiness and pleasure are not the same concept and to think so is dangerous. Pleasure seeking will not bring us happiness. Conversely, happiness is rarely found […]
In our worst traits lay the seeds of our best traits. In those moments when we criticize behavior, we have an opportunity. If we take the time to shift our perception and look for the positive in the situation, we will find a quality to appreciate. In those moments when we might be critical, we […]
Before I reached the checkout counter, I knew what was going to happen. Picking up a few items for dinner at our local market on a Sunday afternoon, I noticed a five-year-old boy with his grandmother, both of them looking a little worse for wear. The boy sported a Red Power Ranger suit with inflatable […]
Transcendence refers to the universal virtue that consists of the ability to express an appreciation of beauty and excellence, gratitude, hope, humor, and spirituality. Positive psychologists see these characteristics as being part of 24 personality strengths that create healthy and happy people. The virtue of transcendence helps us create connections to everything in the universe. […]
