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”For whatever reasons my eight-year-old, Eric, is critical of everything his younger siblings do. Eric tells his sister that her coloring stinks. He tells his brother that his handwriting is messy. Last night Eric burst into tears because the peas touched his mashed potatoes. Nothing seems to make him happy right now,” Michael told me. […]
“Lisa is so different from Grace. Grace never broke anything when she was this age. Lisa breaks something every day,” Meg told me at our playgroup with our one-year olds. Meg, a long-time friend, was over 30 when she had her first child. Five-year-old Grace lived up to her name. Grace was gentle and content […]
Some women get rocks set into precious metals for anniversaries, birthdays or Christmas. I get books. Over thirty years ago, my husband presented me with a jewel of a book for Christmas. I’ve used this gift to teach thinking skills to children and adults. The title? Six Thinking Hats by Edward De Bono. De Bono, […]
One of the formative experiences of my early twenties was taking the Dale Carnegie Course in Public Speaking and Human Relations. Each class we focused on a tenet of Carnegie’s philosophy, one of which is to give sincere, honest appreciation. But giving honest and sincere appreciation can be a difficult skill to master. Some compliments […]
Parents, picture this scene: Your folks stop by to visit with two people you don’t know, but are close to your age. Your dad says, “Give me your car keys, please. John saw your new car and he wants to take it for a spin. I know you’d want to share. Oh, and Sue wants […]
In the previous four articles in this series, we’ve considered a child’s need to belong, and how a child’s behavior is directed towards getting this emotional connection of belonging. To feel like they belong, children’s behavior is driven by four unconscious goals: contact, power, protection and withdrawal. Now, let’s consider how we can help our […]
There are some days in February that seem as if all we do as parents is say “no”. “No, Susan can’t spend the night. Your brother has the flu.” “No, you cannot go bike riding right now. It’s dark.” “No, we can’t go to the mall. It’s supposed to start snowing soon.” Bad weather, illnesses, […]
We all need to feel like we belong. Children’s behavior is directed towards getting the emotional connection of belonging. Watch this video to learn about four basic, yet unconscious, goals that drive our children’s behavior. You’ll learn how these goals, when met, make for a child who is happy, cooperative, self-motivated and self-aware. Download the accompanying […]
As young parents, my husband and I took a video-based parenting course called “Active Parenting” developed by Michael H. Popkin, Ph.D. Impressed with all the valuable information I was able to put to immediate use, I became an Active Parenting instructor for several years. One of the many “gems” from the course was writing “letters […]
“You can’t make me!” yells our darling child. Instantly our breathing quickens, our heart rate elevates, our blood pressure rises and a throb starts at the temples. At times we feel like we “have to” make our children do some things against their will. Brush their teeth. Take a bath. Get dressed. Take their medicine. […]
