The clock face stared at me.
1:00 AM. Again.
The red digital numbers mocked me as I tossed and turned. Again, it was 1:00 AM, and if the pattern held steady, I wouldn’t be asleep again until after three.
As a mom with young children and a husband who traveled frequently on business, the thought of being tired, draggy, and grumpy for a day filled me with dread. I was the adult in charge, and I needed my sleep.
The red numbers clicked on…and on.
Those two hours of tossing and turning were torturous.
During a trip to the library, I did a bit of research on insomnia and found some information suggesting that if you couldn’t get back to sleep within 15 minutes, you should get up and do something enjoyable, such as reading, writing, or drawing. The article recommended staying up until you felt drowsy and then heading back to bed.
Ready for an alternative, I got up the next time my sleeplessness hit and wrote letters at the kitchen table.
I wrote for a couple of hours until I felt ready for bed. Much to my amazement, I went right to sleep.
Most importantly, I woke up before the alarm went off at 6:00, ready to meet the day.
And the day went fine.
Perhaps even more valuable was the confidence I gained from knowing this technique worked for me. If I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t get back to sleep within 15 minutes, I knew I could get up, read or write until I was tired, and be fine the next day.
My theory today is what I humorously call the Young Mother’s Work Cycle Theory.
During my bouts of insomnia, I didn’t know anything about circadian rhythms, much less ultradian rhythms.
When you are in a position like that of a young mother, with little meaningful time to yourself, you may experience bouts of insomnia. If you can embrace those sleepless hours and use them to do activities that are beneficial and meaningful to you, perhaps you can complete an ultradian cycle that promotes a feeling of well-being, satisfaction…and rest.
When I first read about Dr. Montessori’s observations of children’s work cycles, I intuitively understood the significance of giving children uninterrupted time to select activities that were meaningful to them.
These activities had an observable beginning, middle, and end. When completed to the child’s satisfaction, they created a sense of well-being reflected in the child’s calm and peaceful behavior.
Exactly what I had experienced when I used my sleepless hours to do things I enjoyed without being interrupted.
One of the signs of healthy and natural development is what Dr. Montessori called the love of work—or perhaps better understood as “the love of being busy with something you really want to do.”
Think about your own experiences. When do you feel best about yourself and your life?
For me, it is when I get to complete a series of self-selected tasks to my satisfaction.
It is a natural high, a feeling of completion that leaves me with the willingness and confidence to pursue another activity.
When our ability to complete a 90-to-120-minute cycle of self-selected activity is continually blocked, we may find that our natural and healthy development takes a detour—adults and children alike.
Human beings have a natural impulse to choose meaningful activities and become absorbed in them. Even young children need uninterrupted time to experience the satisfaction that comes from meaningful work.
The love of meaningful work.
Offer the gift of time to yourself and to children.
It makes for happier people who can confidently choose the next important thing to do—for themselves and for others.
And if the alarm clock stares you in the face some sleepless night, ask yourself:
“Have I given myself the time to build myself?”
The time is there, waiting for you, clicking by in red numbers.
Download the handout, What Does Normalization Look Like?
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