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“If I don’t spank, what am I supposed to do?” asked Teri, mother to ten-month-old Mary. Teri, as a parent of a now walking and curious toddler, had reached into her parenting bag and found that spanking was her only tool for redirecting behavior. “What do you want to teach?” I said. “Well, I guess […]
Learning to control impulses is an important task for our children, and all of us, to learn. Until our children learn to control urges to hit, kick, punch, pinch, bite, spit, name call and more, we’ll see all those behaviors emerge when life becomes overwhelming. How is self-control established? Let’s look at the young child’s […]
Four-year-old Jason hit his mother, Rebecca, with his fists and kicked her ankles. Rebecca ignored Jason’s blows and continued listening to her friend at the coffee shop. Why was Rebecca allowing her child to abuse her? When visiting with Rebecca she told me that that the parenting tools she had to deal with Jason’s hitting […]
“You can’t make me!” yells our darling child. Instantly our breathing quickens, our heart rate elevates, our blood pressure rises and a throb starts at the temples. At times we feel like we “have to” make our children do some things against their will. Brush their teeth. Take a bath. Get dressed. Take their medicine. […]
“I can’t get Zoey to clean her room,” said Joan, mother to three-year-old Zoey. Clean your room is an abstract idea and most three-year-olds don’t have the experience, memory or skills to clean their rooms all by themselves. Three-year-olds have attained a certain level of independence; they can walk, talk, express their opinions and are […]
Siblings between the ages of 3 and 7 years old engage in some kind of conflict on average 3.5 times an hour according to Laurie Kramer, professor of applied family studies at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. That’s one squabble about every 17 minutes! For the 2 to 4 year age group the average […]
Bedtime battles. Trying to get our children to sleep when and where we would like appears as one of the top parenting issues time after time. Once we understand the big picture, plan and patiently execute the plan, we’ll be able to get those much needed nights of rest. Seeing the big picture of what […]
Dinnertime has always been an important time of our family’s day. It is the part of the day that we share the day’s events, discuss problems, as well as dreams. When our daughters were young dinnertime was perhaps only twenty minutes, and gradually grew to be an hour. Now that they are grown we enjoy […]
Getting everyone out the door in the morning can feel like we’ve put in a full day’s work before 7 am. We have to deal with the sleepyhead, the dawdler, the procrastinator, the inappropriate dresser and the forgetful space cadet. Until we can let these characters have meaningful experiences they will continue to be difficult […]
But Sammy’s mother lets them eat ice cream for breakfast. One of our parenting and teaching challenges is to explain the rules, not only in our own homes and classrooms, but in those places where we have no control. As our children’s friends and relatives visit our homes, we’ll hear the phrase, more than once, […]
