Sometimes A Cigar Is Just A Cigar

sometimes a cigar is just a cigar

Childhood seems to have become a pathology. If children don’t do what the adults around them deem to be “good behavior”, a diagnosis, or label of some type is given to the child: Attention Deficient Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), Separation Anxiety Disorder (SAD), Conduct Disorder. There is a long list of learning […]

Get A Life Before Its Too Late

get a life before it's too late

Working and living with children can seem to consume all your time and energies. Yes, for many years, at least the first five to six, our children need our almost constant attention and we are sleep deprived, etc. It is important, though, that we learn to let them grow in their own time and way, […]

Laugh And The World Laughs With You

laugh and the world laughs with you

Some of the good news about parenting is that you can use your sense of humor. And it may be best if you can learn to look with humor at some of the predicaments you will find yourself. The young child under the age of six years is a literal learner and doesn’t get jokes […]

Just Say No!

just say no

Probably the hardest word for us to learn as parents is ‘no’. Children wouldn’t be children if they didn’t test the boundaries, and when we say no, our children are determined to find a way to get to yes. There are many strategies they use to try to get to yes: complaining that we aren’t […]

Using Encouragement

using encouragement

A discouraged child is an unhappy child who is prone to acts of undue attention in the form of tantrums, whining, and more; acts of rebellion; acts of revenge, and acts of giving up and assumed disability. Oh woe is me! It’s easy to be around a child full of encouragement. He cooperates and contributes […]

When We Belong, We’re Important

when we belong we're important

We all need to feel like we belong. And the most important place we need to feel like we belong is in our families. It is from our family relationships that we build relationships within our schools, our churches, our neighborhoods and our communities…and beyond. According to Rudolph Dreikurs and Alfred Adler our children are […]

Promises, Promises, Promises

Promises Promises Promises

In building healthy relationships it is important that our words and our actions match positively. Where we can get into trouble is making promises. Once we make a promise, we have put our integrity on the line. Circumstances may change that make our commitment untenable, but to our children a bond of trust has been […]

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

actions speak louder than words

My dad used to say that there were four basic types of people in the world. There are the people who say negative things and do negative things. They are pretty easy to spot and avoid. There are positive people who do positive things. These folks are harder to find, since they are rare. When […]

Letting Kids Figure It Out

letting kids figure it out

How are you going to find a way to use words to solve problems? Use the five-step problem solving method. In last week’s post we laid some ground rules for our family: that we will work together, as we are all in the same boat; and that we do not act or speak in a […]

Who Started It?

Who started it

“But Daaaad-deee he started it!” Sometimes we really do need the wisdom of King Solomon! It is difficult for us to know who actually started it. During the heat of the moment, though, it is perhaps best if we don’t try to resolve the dispute ourselves by telling one child what to do. We may […]